We hadn't played at the Dallas Agora since Eddie Gattis got upset with us for playing Cardi's, but time seemed to heal that wound and we were finally scheduled to return to play the Agora again on September 17th and 18th of 1982. Coincidentally, around that same time, Dr. Rock was fired from Cardi's. 

Dad was teaching me some things about photography; developing black and white prints, composition, and lighting. Dan Kostura rode with me to my parent's house and while we were in that part of town I gave him the tour of where I grew up. Laurie and Ricky had a huge argument and she gathered up all her stuff, threatening to leave him for good. They worked it out again, as they always did. Ricky had another bad cold, but was finally starting to do some singing after his recovery from having his tonsils removed. I'd had laryngitis for two weeks, but it was starting to subside. 

After Ricky's tonsillectomy, he not only lost his voice, but he also lost his ass! He couldn't eat solid food for so long that he lost a lot of weight and became very self conscious about it. He was eating pancakes and bananas three times a day, hoping it would quickly put his weight back on. 

Forget "Where's Waldo" - the question was, 
"Where's Ricky's butt?" Ricky mugs for the 
camera while cooking pancakes.

We'd been booked to play a show with Head East and Mahogany Rush in Longview within the next few weeks. Frank Moreno was no longer with Mahogany Rush, which sort of made it a pointless show to do, but we agreed to it anyway. The front end of my Volare' was having fits. I knew I'd need to get it into a shop before I killed myself driving that car. 

We imagined that it would be interesting returning to the Agora after being gone for a while. One of the conditions we wanted upon coming back was that we wanted better quality opening acts. A few of the bands they'd paired with us were almost fresh out of the garage, and ran people away before we could even get on stage. There are times when a bad opening act is desirable, but at the Agora, a bad opening act could mean a very slow night -- no matter who the headliner was. 

I found out that I was related to one of the guys in Fancy Free, a Southern rock band that had played the recent MDA telethon at Savvy's. Johnny, and his sister Laurie, told me they are the grandchildren of my Uncle J.T. from my mother's side of the family. I visited with them during the telethon for a while and gave them both a copy of our Made In Texas album. Johnny was a wild-ass. Laurie was hot! (Cousins by marriage, thank you very much!) 

Dan Kostura (Savvy's keyboard player) moved into a big house with Jim Wise (our keyboard player from Desperados). Their house in Richland Hills was mostly off limits to me because Dan had a cat! Rick Myrick showed up late one night at the club with a girl he'd been dating for a while named Jerrie. When Jerrie went to the bathroom, Myrick told me he wanted to go back with Julie, and asked if I was okay with it. I hadn't been out with her in a while and told him to go for it.  They'd always made a great couple. Ironically, as soon as he started going out with Julie again, Jerrie, started hanging around and hinting about wanting to go out. I figured it was likely to get even with Myrick for dumping her for Julie, but I didn't care about the politics. Just about the time that Jerrie and I were starting to get to know each other better, Rick Myrick and Julie were already on the rocks, and. Julie was calling me again! Myrick was surprised to find where Jerrie had been during their short breakup. It was just a big game of musical chairs - Savvy style!

There seemed to be a lot of plane crashes in the news. Then Princess Grace of Monaco died in a car crash. Problems in the Middle East were brewing again. Reagan delivered his peace plan to the world. Israel rejected it. Gary Shaw had moved from Q102 over to KZEW and was co-workers with Doc Morgan, Randy Davis, and Doug Saye. Drew Pierce was still at KEGL. He came around from time to time with some of the most outrageous stories we've ever heard. For example, he was a really skinny guy, but yet he told us stories of his days as a football star. Things that just boggled the mind, but then he always had an eerily sensible explanation. To back up his football story, he told us he'd come down with a rare disease that caused him to lose a lot of weight, and he'd never gain it back. We liked Drew, but didn't know what to make of him. He started dating a Savvy's regular, named Rhonda. Or as I called her, Little Rhonda. Rhonda was a pretty, petite girl who looked much younger than her 18 years. We talked often and were "pals" at the club. 

Posing with Rhonda at Savvy's.

We played the Agora. Chris video taped and it was the best he'd done yet. After the gig, there was another party at Marcus' apartment. Gary Don Johnson showed up. We played at Malibu Grand Prix again, and a young "leather" band opened for us. After the gig we got to take as many free laps in the race cars as we wanted. The free laps made up for the fact that the police showed up during the concert and made us turn down the "racket!". 

Ricky gets into a mini race car at Malibu Grand Prix
after our concert there.

At the house, the lawn needed mowing, the trash needed taking out, and the floors needed sweeping. If I didn't do it, it didn't get done, and it was bugging me a little bit. When we'd discuss it, Ricky always "felt" like he was doing his fair share, but I'd spoiled him long ago. Just as it had been back with RJ at the garage apartment, and the apartment at Meadowbrook Place, I was always going to be the "Felix" as long as I chose to cohabitate with other guys. I always got over it pretty quickly. 

Things had been so busy with Savvy that I had to turn down several Ronald bookings. Little did I realize that back at the McDonald's agency, a plan was in place to bring in another guy to replace me. I would learn years later that even the agency figured something big would happen for Savvy and they would lose me anyway. They were hedging their bets and getting ready to cover their butts in the event I had to quit for good. Comedian Alan Kaye came to Savvy's and gave us a pep talk. He was back on the road touring with Chicago. We had a tour of our own coming up. We would be playing Hot Stuff in Longview, and then a night at Graham Central Station in Bryan, Texas - Aggie Land!

Our trip to Longview was a treat. Ricky, Rich, Dan and I traveled together this time. Rich and Dan usually didn't ride to gigs with Ricky and me because they were smokers and we weren't. But on this trip, they didn't smoke in the car. We really had an excellent time sharing stories, laughing, and sort of getting to know each other a little better away from the club, or a stage. Ricky was big with the ladies on that trip. I ended up being a loner. In fact, Ricky was scheduled to do a radio phone-in interview with Damian at 98X-FM in Kilgore, but he was busy with company, so I called in and did the interview for him. 

Ricky (in purple Spandex) climbs over tables
and chairs as he sings to the crowd up close
and personal at Longview's Hot Stuff Club.

I don't remember this guy's real name, but he 
helped us with sound at a few gigs. RJ called
him Hamburglar because of the hat. Okay, we
all called him Hamburglar, but we didn't mean
it in a BAD way...

 From Longview it was off to Bryan, Texas, where we were scheduled to play at Graham Central Station. Upon arriving in town we were all toasted from the recent days on the road - and from the consumption of party favors along the way. I was usually the last person to do anything to bring negative attention to myself, or the group, but on that long drive to Bryan, I found myself hanging out of the window of the car, trying to hit road signs with empties. It was a first for me. And a last.

After checking into our hotel, everyone got in a short nap. Our concert wasn't until the following night, so we had some time to kill. Everyone cleaned up for a night on the town. Our first stop was the Rox-Z, a rock club in Bryan. But oddly enough, we weren't allowed in because our "hair was too long". We couldn't believe it, and thought it was some kind of joke. As we stood at the door trying to talk our way in, a tall dude with short hair and a flower painted on his cheek frolicked past us, and went right in. He looked like Will Farrell from Saturday Night Live, but we wouldn't have known that back then. We were shocked that an acid head was welcomed, but we were denied access. It was humiliating, and they weren't budging. We thought Dallas was the Bible Belt! We hadn't seen anything yet...

The Rox-Z wasn't going to happen for us so we piled back into the cars and drove over to Graham's to check out where we would be playing the following night. What we found there was disheartening! The place was packed with cowboys - complete with military hair cuts, big hats, and giant belt buckles! Some of them were looking at us the way a hungry fox might look at a rabbit, as it accidentally stumbles onto it. Standing there like deer in headlights, we didn't know whether to go in or go back to the cars. This wasn't our scene AT ALL! And to make matters worse, Hud, who'd gone in ahead of us to check things out, came out and told us it was Country Night, and we we'd been warned by the management to leave quickly or risk life and limb! But then Hud broke out laughing and admitted he was goofing on us. It looked scary, but the natives turned out to be quite friendly. They were just abiding by the strict grooming codes enforced at A&M. but were very cool despite the duds and the do's. 

I found a Donkey Kong machine and parked myself there while the other guys checked out the place. It wasn't a long visit and we soon found ourselves back in the cars wondering what to do next. It was decided that we'd just go back to the hotel and figure things out from there. On the way back to the hotel, along a very dark stretch of the highway, was a single sign - lit up in the middle of an otherwise vast sea of nothing. It said "Massage Parlor One Mile." I didn't think anything of it, but some of the other guys started getting ideas. I wanted my mommy!

Once back at the hotel, there was a definite contingency wanting to go check out the message parlor, just for laughs. It was getting late and there wasn't much else to do. Even Rick Miller was game, so I felt it would be safe enough. Hud, Ricky, Rick, RJ, Dan, Rich, Dave and I piled into two cars and headed back out into the dark night. The message parlor was just outside of town. As serious as the townsfolk were about hair codes, we couldn't believe they actually had a massage parlor there. 

The small complex was in the middle of the woods along an otherwise deserted stretch of highway. It was made up of a small building, not much bigger than a mobile home. I was nervous, but didn't dare let on for fear of never hearing the end of it. So I went along. We had plenty of chiefs willing to lead the way. I would follow on this one. We all filed into the small front office and Hud did the talking. He asked how much it would cost to get a massage. The huge woman at the desk looked like she was wearing clown paint. She took one look at us, with the hair and the attitudes and knew we weren't undercover cops. She just told it like it was.

"Thirty dollars will getcha a private room with porno movies for thirty minutes. A hot tub costs $50 for 30 minutes, and if you want a 'lady' to accompany you, that's negotiated between you and her in the back."  By the looks on some of my band mate's faces, I could tell they were prepared to make substantial cash draws. 

Then out of the group, Rick spoke up with a pretty cocky, knowledgeable edge, as if he knew the proper etiquette, and said, "We want to take a look at the girls before we decide!" I was starting to get a little worried. I was way out of my element, and didn't know where this was headed. I was also surprised that Rick, who was usually on the shy side, and sort of conservative, was taking the lead on this. But it was dark outside and light inside. I decided to see how this was going to play out.

We were shown to a brightly lit room where we were told to make ourselves comfortable. The girls would be in shortly. My mind was racing with thoughts of scenes from movies where people went to places like this and were never heard from again! So much drama was going on in my mind. But then I started to wonder what the girls would look like. I thought of MORE movies, where guys went to places like this and had encounters with the world's best looking girls. Everyone in the room was a bit nervous. It was like a poker game. Who, if anyone in the group, was really seriously going to PAY to be with a girl out here in the middle of nowhere? And at what point was Sheriff Beauford Pusser going to come barging in with his baseball bat and start breaking our bones for being bad, bad boys? I glanced around the room and noticed a door in the corner with an exit sign above it. And then in came the girls.

It was a circus freak show! If it were to happen today, I would be looking around for hidden reality show cameras. There is no other way to describe them than to say they looked like cartoon versions of Cinderella's ugly step-sisters! They wore really tacky, pastel colored night gowns that looked like they came from a dollar store. All of them had cigarettes hanging out of their mouths and were looking us over too. A dead silence came over the room as we all did our very best to choke down the laughter that was dying to come gushing out. And then Dan spoke up. "You girls are all too tall."  The burliest of the three giggled and kicked off her shoes and dropped at least four inches. 

Dan had used the words "too tall" - but that's not really what he'd meant. Wearing a look on his face similar to someone pondering over buying a mule, he spoke up again. "Can you girls give us a minute to think about it?"  Some of us were no longer able to hold in the laughs and were trying to cover them by making them sound like coughs, or clearing throats. They winked and slinked out of the room. Then, in an almost synchronized move, we all bolted for the exit door at the same time, all laughing out loud as we ran away --  like school boys stealing beer from a 7-11. As the door opened into the night, a loud buzzer went off! Some kind of alarm! Piling into the cars, we sped away leaving a cloud of dirt behind in the bright parking lot lights. It was something to do.

The next day, after sound check we did an interview with someone from the A&M newspaper. Later that night, the club manager told Marty to turn down our volume. Marty pretended to comply. After the gig I was invited to a party thrown by some A&M guys. There were some people there from Ft. Worth. Everyone was very friendly and I had a good time. But later we had a dilemma at the hotel. There were only three beds available and four guys who really wanted to crash in them. We odd-manned out and Rich and I lost. We had to share one of the beds. I hated having to flip coins for anything because I never won. Not once.

In retrospect, we felt the trip had been worthwhile because we'd done three radio interviews (at three different stations in South Texas), did one record signing event, and learned that our album was a hit in Bryan. Once back at home, we had a band meeting to talk about a few really nit-picky things; Rick's rapping, my goofing around, Marty's edginess, Dan's moustache, Rich's drinking, Hud's managing, and David's (our light man) fee. After the meeting I went by the Realtor's offices and paid rent - two days late. The old lady who handled our lease, Doris Taffe, was a Sally Diamond - type, from the Dick Van Dyke show. Because we were late on our payment, I gave her a Savvy album, autographed by her two long haired tenants. She seemed okay with it. Ricky and I were sort of like celebrities in the offices there, mostly because several of the younger realtors partied at Savvy's and knew who we were.

Ricky's pancake diet had finally paid off and he was filling out his pants again. The band went back into the studio to finish recording "Run & Hide". Dan had some really intense keyboards on that song, and was in a serious mood. The rest of us were playing pranks on him to try to get him to lighten up. At one point he became adamant that we all be completely quiet when he was playing so he could concentrate. RJ's gag of the month was taping signs onto the backs of unknowing victims. So Dan earned his own sign that day.

Dan Kostura records parts for "Run and Hide"
unaware of the sign RJ had taped to his butt.
The sign said, "Don't talk while fingers are
in motion!"

Three girls, Luli, Marcy, and Diane came over after our gig at Savvy's and we all played with my road race set. Diane was from England and had a great British accent. Unfortunately, the party was ruined for me when Laurie (Ricky's girlfriend) pulled me aside and whispered something about Ricky being extremely upset about family matters back home in Longview, and that he was talking about quitting the band and moving home right away. Suddenly, the little cars running around the little track didn't seem much fun anymore. 

Good friends Marci, Deb, and Luli at Savvy's.

CHAPTER 38:  WACKY IN WACO

SAVVY STORY INDEX

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