Rusty Burns jammed with us. The friendly late-night breakfast with Big Mike and Lilly seemed to be backfiring. She was suddenly trying to edge her way back into my life again. Everywhere I turned, she was there. Every thing she did, I had to hear about it. My mind had shut down and wouldn't let me care. It was protecting my heart. Sadly, the only thing that seemed to work in keeping her at bay was for me to be hard core about it. I'm sure I came off as a jerk about it, but I just knew we couldn't go back down that road again. After about two weeks of hitting me hard, she seemed to just fall off the planet. I didn't see her around anymore. A part of me felt sad - almost compelled to see how we might get along after a few years apart, but I couldn't EVER get over knowing she'd taken up with Marty so soon after I moved out. Nothing against Marty. I just felt she could've found SOMEONE - ANYONE outside the band to date for a while until things settled down. But all that was ancient history to me. I'd moved on long ago. And it looked like she had finally given up the ghost as well. When I'd get tired and my emotional guard was down at times, thoughts of Lilly would flood back in and haunt me with a thousand "WHAT IF's". Could it be that she was really THE ONE and I'd been too caught up with the band to know it? Surely not. We fought way too much. We made each other miserable too often. We had LOVE but we didn't have that MAGIC kind of love that I was hoping to find someday. I couldn't let myself think about it. Life was too good. My future was full of promise. I knew that Lilly would be just fine. She always was. [This is a testament to how little I really knew Lilly after all. She was actually hurting. She didn't know how to open up and talk about her feelings. She only knew how to strike out with vengeance and GET EVEN. If only we'd had the maturity and ability to communicate as adults, things might have turned out very differently.]

Rich bought a new BC Rich Mockingbird guitar. It was a real beauty with a natural wood finish. Back in the dressing room during a break, he handed the brand new guitar to me and told me to try it out. I was about to learn a very important lesson that I'd never forget! As I raised the guitar up to put the strap over my head, I accidentally shoved the neck of the guitar into a spinning ceiling fan above! There was a loud WHACK - CRACK - CRACK! The sudden noise had seriously startled me, and it took a second for me to realize what had happened. Everyone in the dressing room gasped and gathered around to see what was left of the new guitar. The only damage was a very small scratch on the back side. I say "only" damage. That was certainly enough to make me feel absolutely awful. But to Rich's credit, he smiled and thanked me for initiating it for him. His theory was that a guitar didn't feel right to him until it had that first scratch on it. (I have to say that Rich's mild-mannered personality was one of the things I miss most about those days. If that had been my guitar, I fear there would've been major drama!) At Rich's expense, I developed an instinctive habit of never putting a guitar on before checking for clearance above!

Rich Mauch with his brand new BC Rich 
Mockingbird  Guitar.

It was typical in the music business for bands to have problems over clashing egos. We really didn't have any of that in Savvy. Oh, there were plenty of inflated egos, but they didn't typically clash. About the closest thing to it happened when Rich bought his new guitar. On the surface, everyone in the band stood around admiring the axe as if it were a fresh baby. But deep down, Ricky must have been doing a slow burn because only a few nights later he turned up at the gig with a brand new, top of the line, BC Rich Bitch guitar! And to put the exclamation point on the matter, he got one that was HOT PINK! Once again, Ricky proved it was near impossible to upstage him, or steal his thunder. My experiences with guitars had simply taught me not to get to attached to them. More than likely they'd end up being stolen anyway. I finally understood why some guitarists always played the same, worn out looking guitar every time I saw them. They'd found an instrument that did the job, and they never let it out of their sight!  I stayed out of the guitar wars altogether. 

Ricky with his new Hot Pink BC Rich Bitch guitar.

Ricky, Hud, and I went to the Agora to see Head East and True Hearts. We made our way up the stairs into the cavernous, winding hallways above, where the dressing rooms were. While up there, we ran into John O'Daniel, original singer for Point Blank. He was a little bit melancholy over the recent split with a girlfriend. John told us that he had been offered a gig singing with Lightning. He said it was nice of them to offer, but he wasn't really interested. The guys in True Hearts accused us of turning their volume down during their set! That was pretty funny. I couldn't think of a reason on earth why we would do that.

Marty and I went to breakfast at Johnny D's. He was pretty tanked up and started talking openly about Lilly. She was making him crazy. He told me that he loved her but she was never going to let any man forget that I'd been her first and only true love. I assured him that I would never be able to go back again after all that we'd been through. I was sorry for his situation but I believed time would make her get over me. Neither of us knew she was sitting in the parking lot watching us. We went our separate ways and Lilly followed me home. I didn't see her until I got out of the car. She was surprisingly calm and unemotional and told me she was trying hard to forget me once and for all. She knew that her feelings for me had made it unfair for others who wanted to love her - but she couldn't love them back until she could let go of me.  It was a side of her I'd never seen before and that old feeling gurgled up in a huge swell, tempting me to reach out and take her into my arms again - but I resisted. Then she attempted to to give back a ring and ear rings I'd bought her long ago. I wouldn't take them back. That would've been silly. I was pretty sure we'd parted friends. I was more convinced than ever before that the final chapter of the Ballad of Steve and Lilly had been written, proofread, and stamped into the history books for all time.  

It was getting late in the month of April and the album still wasn't done. We'd been having a lot of time off. Ricky helped me put some old carpet in the garage. On Sunday the 25th, Humble Pie came into town to play Savvy's. Mark Ballew was working as their road manager at the time and arranged for us all to get together for lunch at Bill Martin's Seafood Restaurant, located in the same strip mall with Savvy's. We had a nice visit.  Since we were off that night, I went to the Humble Pie show at Savvy's. While there, Susan C. approached me. She was a slender blonde with a golden complexion. I'd hinted about going out with her a few times over the past year but she never seemed interested. Things had changed!  Even though Humble Pie was playing, we left the club and went to my house. 

There wasn't any "hanky panky" going on. Quite the contrary as a matter of fact. I showed her around the house -- in particular, the garage! We'd really fixed it up! It was carpeted and furnished with sofas, chairs, and a coffee table for sitting outside on nice evenings. It was also set up with Ricky's weight benches for working out. After sitting out there and talking for a while, I showed her the back yard. My large camping tent was set up to dry out after a short camping trip, so we sat outside in the tent and talked some more. We had a really nice time getting to know each other a little bit. By the time we got back to the club, we found that her car headlights had been smashed out and her tires were all slashed. She recognized it as the handiwork of a jealous ex-boyfriend. I was half-expecting the guy to come running out of the shadows at me with a baseball bat. I didn't like that feeling. It was happening a little too often for my comfort. I gave her a ride home and gave her a goodnight "handshake", just in case Maniac Man was lurking in the shadows nearby. 

With Kitty and her pups finally gone, Ricky and I carpeted
the floors and walls of the garage on Lester. It was our workout
room and extra party space.  

Another view of the garage.  It was all great until it rained!  The 
driveway sloped down to the garage so in a big rain, it flooded.

The following day was a Monday and we had two more nights scheduled off before returning to the Dallas Agora again. I was surprised to get a phone call from Susan! She asked if we could get together and do something that evening. We ended up going to the Candlelight Inn. And then on Tuesday night we went to Steak and Ale. (Too bad we didn't have Outback Steakhouse in those days...) I tried calling Susan to see if she wanted to come out to the Agora Wednesday night for our gig, but couldn't reach her. 

At the Agora,  a friend named Gail poses with me (dressed as
Uncle Ernie.)

Savvy played a Frat party for UTA at the Arlington National Guard Armory. That was a wild party! The Agora contacted us saying they wanted Savvy to play every Wednesday night! That would be hard to do considering that Wednesday was BEER NIGHT at Savvy's -- a staple moneymaker! But Savvy's club owners gave us the green light to try it for a while in hopes our Agora appearances might result in drawing some Dallas people to Ft. Worth. We appreciated the Agora for asking and Savvy's for understanding. The situation in the Falklands was getting very close to breaking into a full blown war. 

After nothing much to report for a few weeks, there was finally good news worth writing about. Our Made In Texas album finally came out! Rumor had it that Glen Frey (from the Eagles) was upset that a little band called Savvy was tying up the studio that he wanted to use to master HIS solo project. (Welcome to the music business.) Even if it hadn't been true, we were tickled at the very prospect of being able to stick it to the Eagles in any way we could. They had promised to offer us some shows in LA to make up for putting the screws to us back in '80, but we'd never heard a word from them. 

Savvy's "Made In Texas"
album was finally out!

As a result of the album being released, business at the club skyrocketed. I never dreamed business could actually get better but it did. I spent an afternoon mowing the lawn on Lester. We'd been living in an apartment, so lawn maintenance hadn't been an issue before. Living in a house with a big lawn, I was quickly learning that Ricky didn't take much to yard chores. I didn't let it get to me. In a way I actually enjoyed getting out and working in the yard -- until my allergies kicked in! 

While I was outside mowing the lawn, Ricky was inside working the phones. He'd (allegedly) gotten another offer to leave Savvy. This time it was from guitar player, Earl Slick (David Bowie, Earl Slick Band). Ricky told me about the offer, and as usual, asked me to keep it confidential until he figured out what he was going to do. There were a lot of situations like that with Ricky, and they all sucked. More specifically, they all sucked for ME. I'm sure it was really flattering for him to be getting all that attention, and frankly, he deserved it. On one hand, it was nice of him keeping me in the loop. But on the other, it was sheer torture knowing that he could take off with one of these big name acts at any moment, leaving us to try to pick up the pieces. I knew that if Ricky left the band, it would never be the same.

During the first few weeks of May, we played once at the Inner Visions club in Waco (the club that the Miller family was considering buying), and at the Dallas Agora with Dwight Twilly. On May 23rd, 1982, we did an afternoon show at Zoo World in Dallas. It was held at the Dallas Convention Center. Other bands playing that day were Brittany, and Runner. Randy Davis and Doug Saye, DJ friends, were there. Ricky made a new friend; Gary Don Johnson had played defensive tackle for the Baltimore Colts during the '80 season. I don't recall how the 6'4" 263 pound giant first crossed paths with us, but he ended up becoming a good friend, and a regular guest at our gigs, and at our home on Lester. Gary Don enjoyed playing "body guard" to the band, and he was always a welcomed member of our entourage.

Dallas Agora: (left to right) Ricky Lynn Gregg, Gary Shaw, 
Brenda Shaw,  Hud (peeking over), Steve Jones, Gary Don 
Johnson, Rick Miller, and Rich Mauch.

May of 1982 was mostly spent playing the Dallas Agora, and the Houston Rock Saloon. I saw quite a bit of Sherry, since we were spending a lot of time in Houston. Joe David (our club security guy) drove to Houston to party with us. I was doing my best to avoid him, since our eerie trip to Longview months earlier when he grilled me about Samantha. But somehow he managed to corner me in Houston when Sherry was with me and invited us all to ride with him to Galveston the next day. I didn't want to, but Sherry got very animated and excited about it, so we went. Joe David looked like TV's McGuyver in a red Savvy jacket. He was a handsome guy and all the girls went crazy over him, until they saw his wicked streak. That usually came out as he was tossing people out of clubs while working as a bouncer. He took mercy on no one. I just had that sick feeling that Sherry was enjoying his company a little too much on that trip. He drove a red convertible (matching his red Savvy jacket), and rather than squeeze Sherry in tightly between us in the front seat, I decided to take the back seat to make sure they had plenty of daylight between them, and so I could keep an eye on the action! 

On the beaches of Galveston it became obvious that Joe David was messing with me by laying it on thick with Sherry. It was payback for Samantha. That guy was GOOD! Sherry was falling for his every move - hook, line, and sinker. I decided to just sit back and ignore the whole thing. She didn't cross the line with him, but her innocence, naivety, and enthusiasm was making it all the more alluring for Joe David. I couldn't wait for the stupid trip to be over! 

RJ turned 30 years old! The band bought a wireless handheld microphone to use in concerts. They were rare back then so it was cool having one to play with. On one of the first times we used it at the Agora, the band opened with "Already Ready", a song in which I do lead vocals. As the music started I was nowhere to be seen. There was the sound of a flushing toilet, and then the spotlight hit me as I emerged from the balcony restroom, singing on the wireless mic all the way back to the stage. It was cheesy, but we were known for doing stunts like that. One night while playing the Rock Saloon in Houston, we did the song "The Wall" by Pink Floyd. I dressed up like Uncle Ernie, a reoccurring character that showed up at Savvy's regularly. As Uncle Ernie, I went around the outside of the club and came back in the front. I was going to walk up to the front of the stage and heckle the band. It was just a bit we'd done hundreds of times back home, but the club security in Houston didn't know it was me, and frankly, didn't care. They pounced on me and dragged me to the front door and tossed me out onto the street! The joke ended up being on me that night. 

My "Uncle Ernie" character poses with
Savvy friend, Rhonda, at the Agora. Look
closely and you can see that I'm wearing
a "Made In Texas" hat. Little did we know
that in six years we'd be a married couple.

Before returning home from our South Texas tour, we played a concert in a park in downtown Houston. It was a beautiful day, and the show went well. The park was covered with people on their lunch breaks from work. It was nice to play for an entire audience made up of people who'd never even heard of us before. 

Upon returning home, things got a little crazy. Rick Miller got agitated with RJ and me over "chuckling" on stage between songs. It was a curt little sarcastic cartoon laugh that we had gotten in the habit of doing. During a break Rick told us it wasn't funny and requested we stop doing it. Sure! He he he...    Ricky was getting into soul music all of a sudden. It came out of nowhere. Then he did a studio session for an elderly fellow named Edwin Cohen. He recorded a song called "Eighty Four Hundred." We went around for days coming up with every reason we could find to sing the hook, "Eighty four hundred - sounds like a good round number!" It was hilarious, and gave us material to last for the rest of the summer. 

Barbara (from way back at the Hungry I) told me that her three year old son, Michael, was mine! With only a few more days to Father's Day, I took that claim pretty seriously -- until I took out a calculator and did the math. Because of my habit of keeping meticulous notes, I was able to precisely work out dates and times and easily came to the conclusion that the child would have to be closer to FIVE to be mine. Strangely enough, when I explained it to her a few days later, she told me she'd just been playing a joke on me! What a knee-slapper! 

Then, in early June, the "Y" tree fell. The "Y" tree had been a wonderful giant tree in the yard of the house I'd grown up at on Lincoln Avenue in north Ft. Worth. It grew out of the ground at a lazy, leaning angle, and then branched off to form a letter "Y". 

Me, sitting in the Great Y Tree, with Mark Karolevich
(left) and brother Chris (right) at the home place on 
Lincoln Avenue around 1960.

It was the best tree I'd ever seen, climbed on, or played under. The giant pecan tree provided shade, and pecans, like no other I'd ever seen. It truly was a perfect tree. It was such a part of my life that after I found out it had finally fallen, I wrote the following poem.

The Fall of the Great Y Tree

My heart sinks miles deep in memories
Grieving for an odd -- and old childhood friend
A tree
Never had I seen another like it!
Nor am I so sure there ever was one

Such a unique design that we, as children,
took for granted
That God had placed it there
Especially for us
And every year we would listen
To the older folks
The one's that didn't get it.
An "EYESORE", they'd called her
And dared her to live another winter
But she would
Another Winter
Another cycle of seasons
And she was still there, like an old friend
Ready to take us as high as we could climb

We called her the "Y" tree because of how she grew
Out of the ground like a lazy "Y"
You could roll a wagon down the slanted trunk;
She was so wide
And we did
Her pecans would turn into pocket money
For any kid with a paper bag
Or sand pail
When I left home to seek my fortune
I didn't forget that tree
On visits home I'd sneak out to her
And look her over
Whispering low - damning the rush of time

The folks knew they'd bore a sentimental child
And let us be - for a while
"She's leaning bad" my dad would say
As he cracked two pecans together in his fist
Dads know things
This time I felt I should listen 
Time
More time 
The lazy Y got lazier
Even from far away I knew she was dying

Then late one night in a terrible storm
All alone in the dark -
No children scampering near
No high pitched squeals of laughter
Late one night in a terrible storm -
She fell
In all her majestic beauty and form -
A sculpture from the hand of God himself-
She fell
And when I came to visit again
She was lying there.

Mom had tears in her eyes.
She knew It was my childhood lying there.
In the yard.
The visions. The memories.
Mom told me that when she fell,
When she could hold root not a second more -
She seemed to cry out
With a thunder-clapping "SNAP!"
As if to say - "Tell the boy goodbye"

The trunk of the Great "Y" Tree, at rest.

Years after my parents had moved away from my childhood home, I went back with a video camera to document what the place looked like, before it was sold off, demolished, or trashed beyond recognition by the wave of careless renters taking over the area. The tree had fallen years earlier. Most of it had been cut up and hauled away, or used for firewood. All that remained was the main trunk which had been too big to move and was left there to rot. That tree had been such a symbol of my youth that seeing it lying there was almost like looking at the abandoned remains of an old friend. But then I noticed that growing out of the old, seemingly dead stump, were sprigs of new trees trying to grow! There was still life in the old girl after all, and THAT made me smile!

[Boogie Lamont emailed me after reading the story about the "Y" tree with a tree story of his own. He gave me permission to reprint his story here.]

I had similar feelings about two old magnolia trees that my mom had planted in the front yard of our old home place in 1956. You can look at all the old family photos and track the growth and progress of those two trees from 3 ft. high saplings -- to 50 ft. tall lush gargantuan trees.  From the mid 1950's - right on into the 21st century. Right about the time my mom got sick, the westward tree up and died suddenly. I don't believe in omens, but if I did, it could have been one....   Mom was gone within a year. - Jerry "Boogie" Lamont

CHAPTER 35:   Memories of Panther Hall

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