For a few moments we all just stood there in the doorway, not saying a word. I half-suspected it to be one of RJ's gags. Finally she asked if we were going to invite her in. Ricky led her to a spot on the sofa while I stepped outside to look around for anyone else that might be tagging along with her. She'd come alone. Back inside, we began bantering back and forth with her in a friendly way, trying to get whatever information we could from her about why she'd turned up at our doorstep. It wasn't a huge mystery to begin with. We were members of a popular band from a popular nightclub and she'd probably followed us home before. She may have had a crush on Ricky, or maybe even me. Actually, this was turning out to be a lot more interesting than whatever we'd been watching on TV.

Finally we got to the bottom of things. It was a bizarre story. The girl proceeded to tell us that she'd gotten married earlier that night and her husband ended up partying in Dallas with his drinking buddies, so she decided to do something to get even with him. She had indeed partied at Savvy's Nightclub before and had followed us home, just as we'd thought. Apparently, we represented that one last wild thing she'd been considering doing before she'd gotten married, but didn't have the nerve until now! 

The girl had come to our place with every intention of having sex with someone - anyone - but that wasn't going to happen that night; the poor thing was so drunk that she could barely carry on a conversation. We talked to her for a while, but neither of us wanted to get in the middle of that mess! Particularly after the burglary on Green Acres, we always assumed someone was watching us. For all we knew, her new husband might have been out there sitting in a car with a gun. Maybe he was following her in a jealous rage. Or not. It didn't matter much by that time because she was beginning to nod out on our couch. I finally went on to bed and Ricky told her she could sleep on the couch. She was too wasted to be driving. In the morning she was gone, and had left a note thanking us for our hospitality. We took a quick inventory, but everything seemed to still be in place. Our late-night mystery guest turned out not to be a gag after all.

Practical jokes, or GAGS as we often called them, were prevalent among Savvy band members. RJ was universally recognized as the KING of GAGS. At home, Ricky and I were constantly playing pranks on each other too. Eventually we became quite competitive about it and a gag could happen anywhere, at any time. These practical jokes could sometimes be grand, well thought-out productions complete with props, assistants, and even a little fake blood when needed. But some of the best gags were the ones that just happened on the spot.

My cousin RJ. He was definitely the KING when it came to
practical jokes (GAGS). Nobody else came close.

 Ricky Lynn got me really good with an impromptu little thing he came up with as we were going home from the gig one night. He was driving, and said he needed to stop at the 7-11 convenience store to use the phone. We had made the decision to go without a phone for as long as we could, just to see if we could live without one. So it wasn’t unusual for him to stop and make a call on the way home. As I watched from the car, I could see that he was having a very animated conversation with someone. The call went on for a while and I was getting anxious to get home. Finally, he hung up the phone and got back in the car. I hadn't expected him to be on the phone for so damn long and was impatient to get home. But when I asked what had been so important to take such a long time to talk about, he clammed up! Under those conditions it wasn’t unusual for me to ask whom he’d been talking to – but it WAS unusual for him to suddenly clam up and dance around the subject. We were as close as two guys can be without being gay. I knew about all the secret auditions with other bands. I knew he sometimes ate pancakes three times a day to keep his butt filled out in his jeans. I knew everything about him. But he didn’t want to tell me who he’d been talking to on the phone. I was suddenly obsessed with needing to know who it could’ve been. As I guessed name after name and scenario after scenario, all he would do was silently shake has head. The more he remained mute, the more curious I became. Then curiosity turned to being pissed. What had happened all of a sudden that was so paramount that he couldn’t tell me?

This went on for several minutes as we traveled from the 7-11 parking lot to our apartment. Then finally he seemed to loosen up a bit and asked if I really wanted to know. He warned me that I might be hurt by what I would hear, but that he felt it was ultimately something I needed to know.  I vowed to take whatever it was like a man. He pulled the car into the apartment parking lot and killed the engine. After a moment in what appeared to be deep thought, he looked me straight in the eyes and spoke softly, as if he was telling a child that their puppy had been run over. He said, "That was Carla. She wants me to meet her tonight. We’ve been secretly talking for about a week. She’s going to break up with Rick and wants to get together with me. I’m going to drop you off here at the apartment and go over to her place."

I was completely shocked. I didn’t know what to say or feel. I’d already been a good sport about the "Carla" thing once, and had let it go. But this was out of left field! This made me a two-time loser with her. If someone was going to get to mess around with her behind Rick’s back, shouldn't it be ME? Well, I wasn’t thinking straight, so I was justified to have such devious delusions banging around in my head. I stammered some kind of jumbled response at him. It was just a bunch of straw-grasping and I knew it. I’d lost out again, but I wanted him to know that of all people, he should have been a buddy and played Wing Man for me on that deal. 

Once he saw that I'd taken the bait hook, line, and sinker, the expression on his face thawed and he started laughing. He laughed and laughed and laughed some more. My friend was HOWLING. I thought he was going to roll into the floorboard of his car, doubled over with laughter. He’d really pulled one over on me that time, and we both knew it would be one of those classic moments we’d talk about for the rest of our lives. (We wouldn’t laugh at anything harder until perhaps the "stinky window tater" incident, but that was still a year or two away in the future.)

I may not have been the biggest practical joker, but I could clown
around with the best of them. Here I'm modeling my home made
Bozo-style clown wig.

I learned that the city-level justice system had some really huge problems. Detective Gaylor needed yet another signed statement from Lou regarding the break-in on Green Acres. I picked up Lou and drove him over to the police station. After doing the paperwork, my car wouldn't start so Detective Gaylor had to give us both a ride to Daniel's Restaurant in Arlington, where Lou's sister picked us up and drove us home. My car sat in the North Richland Hills Police Station parking lot for a couple of days before I finally got around to dealing with it. 

At band rehearsal we worked up a hot new Loverboy song, "Turn Me Loose" -- and the big Styx hit, "Too Much Time On My Hands." There was talk of Savvy possibly opening some Point Blank shows at the Dallas and Houston Agora Clubs in the coming months. We had a definite show book in for Graham Central Station in Arlington for March 9^th. Madison Avenue (with their new drummer) would open the show, followed by the Karen Bella Band, and we would be headlining. It turned out to be a great show with over 1,800 people in attendance, and a big night for Savvy. Crowds seemed to be anticipating our originals more than anything else, and that was what it was all about. And as an added bonus that night, someone mysteriously returned RJ's embroidered Savvy tour jacket to him.

The weather had been unusually warm and dry, but was turning cold and rainy again. The unpredictable Texas weather conditions caused Ricky's tonsils to swell up, making it hard for him to sing. We had a band meeting and Dan was late. The question came up about the band possibly doing some gigs in Atlanta and Tampa. We were eager to break out of North Texas, but we chose to leave those decisions in Hudson's hands. 

Rumor had it that Ricky's stolen Les Paul Junior was spotted in a Dallas Pawn Shop! Another guitar was rumored to be at one of the burglar’s mom’s house. And the Flying V that we'd heard was buried near the Marine Lake Dam was now said to be at the bottom of Lake Worth! There was talk about my microwave being spotted at another person’s house, who was friends with the thug-mugs. These stories would continue to surface for sometime to come, but nothing would ever come of it.

I did a McDonald's telethon gig at a Dallas hotel with Morgan Fairchild, Murphy Martin, Jack Jones, Gene Rayburn, Patty Weaver, and Bob Lilly! It had turned out to be a really long event and I'd been up late the night before playing at Savvy's. At one point I slipped away to an isolated area in the basement to try to take a short breather. Then, as I was leaning back against a giant concrete support column, the legendary retired NFL Dallas Cowboys Hall of Fame defensive tackle, Bob Lilly, walked right up to me and asked for my autograph! My brain was already mush and I was so freaked out that for a few seconds I forgot I was in a clown costume. A few brief seconds of confusion passed before it clicked in my head that Bob Lilly wasn't asking for Steve Jones' autograph from the band Savvy - but rather an autograph for his kids from the world's most famous hamburger clown! It all happened in my mind so quickly that he never knew the difference. "Sure thing, Bob! What are your kids names?" I asked in my best "Ronald" voice. He ran the names down for me and I signed a color 5x7 photo for each. Then the man I'd watched play in Superbowls with Roger Staubach said something I would never forget; "Thanks Ronald! You've just made me a hero to my kids!"  Then we shook hands and he turned and walked away.  I had to chuckle to myself at the mental image of the famous Dallas Cowboy, Bob Lilly, dancing at Savvy's and ordering up rounds of Kamikazes for the band. As that thought faded, another one took hold of my mind. I almost knocked my knee out of joint trying to kick myself with a big red shoe for not asking him for his autograph!

Rick Miller had an after-gig party at his apartment. While there, we learned that the Point Blank shows were off because of a dispute with Lone Wolf Productions. Of course we wanted to believe that the cancellation was because we'd become too popular locally to open the show, but that would've been wishful thinking. We never found out why we'd been booted from the lineup, but I suspected it might have had something to do with the Texas jam curse. Later in the week our friends in Pandora played Savvy’s. Their original singer, Elaine, was back with them. I loved watching Pandora. The two girls in the band still reminded me of Heart's Wilson sisters.

We had another little get-together at our apartment and Rusty Burns dropped by. Ricky brought up the subject of Savvy getting bumped from the Point Blank show, but Rusty said he knew nothing about it. We believed him. We found out that the kingpin behind the Green Acres burglary was finally behind bars without bond. He was still denying knowledge of the crime to the police, but he’d been bragging about it to a lot of his friends around Savvy’s. Eventually things started to get nasty when he began sending threats to Ricky and me from jail. Some of our biggest and baddest friends formed an honorary Savvy Secret Service Protection Squad. It consisted of Big Mike, Big John, and Crazy Dave. They were begging us to give them permission to break somebody’s arms and legs and leave them in a dumpster, and while it was a tempting notion, we opted to put the whole thing behind us peacefully.

On Monday, March 30^th 1981, I was asleep at the apartment when our neighbor knocked on the door with big news… President Reagan had been shot! John Hinkley tried to assassinate him by pulling off 5 shots from his 22-caliber pistol as Reagan came out of a hotel to his limo. The gunman said he did it to prove his love for actress Jody Foster. The guy is a nut! He was emulating the story line from the movie Taxi Driver. Several others were wounded too: Press secretary James Brady, a DC cop, and a Secret Service Agent. The networks actually announced Brady dead on the scene, but it was incorrect. Everyone who was old enough was flashing back to the horrors of the 60’s shootings of the Kennedy brothers and MLK. And there was also the attempt on Gerald Ford’s life too. Fortunately, Reagan survived, and as long as he didn’t try to take away my rock and roll, I liked him ok.

Gary Shaw and Tom Owens from Q102 asked if I would like to be guest DJ on the radio for a new show called "Q Star", in which a local celebrity takes over the studio for an hour and pretty much does what they want. I would be the first one – the guinea pig. The funny thing was that I didn’t consider myself a celebrity worthy of such an honor, but they egged me on, saying that it would be great publicity for the band and for the club. I asked if I could come up with some "bits" to do, and they gave the thumbs up. So I agreed to give it my best shot. But first we had a couple of nights to play at the Houston Agora with a band called PUSH, but not the same PUSH that Ricky had played with before joining Savvy.

 Houston was great! I wound up hanging out with a female executive from Pace Concerts. Several of our Ft. Worth friends and family members showed up and we took over the Marriott hotel for a few nights. I dropped my wallet in the Marriott parking garage and one of our fans found it and returned it to me. Then I managed to twist my bad knee and was in pain for the rest of the trip. Marty, Dave, Ricky, and I took advantage of the Sauna Room. We also became semi-regulars at the Baby Dolls strip club next door to the Agora. Dee, the manager of the club, seemed to have a crush on Ricky. This was a big turnaround from when she wanted to throw us out before she even heard us play the first time we came to town. Yessir, we liked Houston just fine!

Rick Miller, Hud, and I flew back from Houston so I could do the Q102 Q Star show the following night. The rest of the guys drove home. Ricky and Marty drove on to Longview for a few days of rest and relaxation. But Dan’s car broke down somewhere near Huntsville. Dan and his passengers had to take the bus, and any other way they could to get home. That stretch of highway between Houston and Madisonville was our own personal Bermuda Triangle.

Back in town, I hurried to produce a couple of taped gags for the radio program. One was a bit where I made random calls to people on the phone, with their canned responses on tape. In those days, if someone didn’t get a joke, they laughed anyway and assumed they’d just been too stoned to get it. So it didn’t matter what I did on that show, it would be okay. I was used to putting it on the line every night in front of live audiences. It would be like jumping off the high dive at Burger’s Lake for the first time; you just go for it and hope you survive.

When Rick, Hud, and I arrived at the Q102 radio station building, the door going in from the parking garage was locked. Hud used a credit card to break in. Once up the elevators and into the studio offices, we ran into Bob Elliott. He was upset with Hud for picking the lock, but got over it quickly enough. He led us to the studio. There we were greeted by Eric Randolph, a friendly DJ we’d done interviews with on a number of previous occasions. He asked me what songs I wanted to play during my hour and I gave him the list. He noticed the cassette tape player in my hand and asked what it was for. I told him I was going to do some pre-recorded bits if it was ok. He was impressed that I’d gone to the trouble to produce material for the show. He hadn’t heard it yet, though.

Once everything was set up, Eric signed off from the first part of his shift on the air and introduced me as the host of the first Q Star show. I just sort of took over the console at that point and away we went. I didn’t realize it until after the show was over and I listened to tapes of the broadcast, but I had talked in a really lame, laid back, bad impression of the stereotypical stoned out 3^rd shift rock DJ. In fact, I had been subconsciously imitating the likes of Randy Davis, or John Michaels (the OD – Overnight Delight), or another of those guys. The only difference was that they pulled it off. I knew in hindsight that I should’ve just been myself and used my own voice, hick accent and all. But it was my first time (and only time) to host my own late night radio broadcast on one of the biggest radio stations in north Texas! I wasn’t too hard on myself. I just let it go.

During the broadcast we took some calls. One of them was from Ricky Lynn and Marty calling in from Longview. They couldn’t hear the program from there but called in anyway. Their call proved to be a huge chance to plug the band. In fact, the entire program was like a big commercial for Savvy and Savvy’s Nightclub. I got to play a few songs from our album and 45. Then when the hour was up, instead of Eric taking back over, he asked if I wanted to keep going. He said he was really enjoying it and that I was doing great! So I did. The entire show ran about an hour and a half long. Wherever you are, Eric (Zubler) Randolph, thanks for being such a great and gracious host and friend that night!

Dan and RJ drove down to Huntsville to pick up Dan’s car. The next day, Savvy was in the studio to record "On My Own" and "I Won’t Call It Love". RJ wrote the music and I wrote the lyrics. I was also the lead singer on both these songs for a change, and had a really good vocal session. The entire band seemed refreshed and was playing exceptionally well. But Hud gave out early and said he was too tired to continue. Ricky got pretty upset about it and left in a huff without saying anything to anyone. That night we had a gathering at our apartment with RJ, Marilyn, Ricky, Marty, Rick, and I. We all hung out and talked about the future of the band until daylight.

I woke up the next afternoon, showered, and went to spend the rest of the day with my family. My knee was really beginning to swell up from twisting it in Houston and I wasn't getting around very well. When I got back to the apartment that night, I found Ricky and Laurie sprawled out lifeless on the floor, with a red substance flowing from what looked like gunshot wounds in their clothes. As I stepped over them, I uttered a warning to Ricky that he’d better not get ketchup stains on our fancy blue shag carpet. If it hadn't been April Fool's Day I might have slowed down to take a pulse. 

CHAPTER 18:  ANOTHER TEXAS JAM 

SAVVY STORY INDEX

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