Today the Church offers us a liturgical feast in
honor of the Holy Family. Why? To give our families a
pattern of holiness.
Towards this end, I can do no better than repeat St. Paul’s recipe for
a holy family as given us in his letter to the Colossians selected for
today’s feast.
“Brethren, put on, as God’s elect, a
heart of mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience. Bear with
one another and forgive one another; if anyone has a grievance against
any other, even as the Lord has forgiven you, so also do you
forgive. But above all these things have charity, which is the
bond of perfection.” (Col. 3:12-14)
What is St. Paul’s recipe for a holy family as given us by the
Church? A large dose of charity, the bond of perfection, the
supernatural grace of God which animates all our spiritual life... then
a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience... then mix
saying, “Bear with one another and forgive one another.”
Ah, if there is to be a slogan for a Christian family striving for
holiness let it be this one: “Supportantes invicem et donantes
vosmetipsos.” Bear with one another and forgive one another.
Why? Because Divine Providence has so ordered this world that
those closest to us, the ones we love the most, the members of our
family, cause us the most suffering. Husband to wife, wife to
husband, brother to sister, sister to brother, parent to child and
sibling to sibling... each to the other. By divine design, by the
people we love the most so we suffer the most.
We must recall, however, that by these same individuals we may advance
our salvation. For as without hardships in our life we could not
practice mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, so by enduring
the faults, imperfections, defects, and even venial sins in my
neighbor, so I am able to obtain virtue. Like a dull knife which
is useless unless violence is done to it, unless it is sharpened
against a hard stone, so my soul is made keen in virtue by rubbing
against hardship.
And although we may see the necessity of suffering, it doesn’t make it
easier to accept it. How might I more agreeably accept the suffering
the members in my family give me and thereby fulfill St. Paul’s
admonition, “Bear with one another, forgive one another,” with greater
promptness, frequency, and even, dare I say it, joy?
Consider that by enduring the faults in my neighbor I am able to
progress in virtue without which I could not. Second, consider
that when I suffer the moods in a spouse, I can give a proof to God
that I love Him... and I should want many of these. Also, I am
able thereby to show my gratitude to Almighty God that I truly
appreciate His kindness shown me for all those many times He waits for
my moods to pass and I, once more, to convert to Him. He
does not rebuke me harshly, nor give biting criticisms when I abuse
Him, rather by gentle persuasions, He continues to draw me slowly to
His love. By enduring the defects and even venial sins in my
family members, and returning kindness for anger, so I can imitate
something of that divine mercy which throws no thunderbolts at me
should I offend Him. Thirdly, consider the good example obtained
by patiently, “bearing with one another” and by promptly and
frequently, “forgiving one another.” And thus it may happen, when
another sees me striving for higher things, sees some witness of virtue
in me, some image of the truth, beauty, and goodness of God, he may
practice the same himself and advance the good of all.